K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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