im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
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oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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