i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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