I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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