I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize