So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
tonight lets celebrate not being married
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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