He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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