I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
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Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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