i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He kissed a someone with a penis
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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