I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize