I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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