i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize