woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
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I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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