The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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