I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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