The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize