I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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