Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize