im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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