I just pynch a tree in the face
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
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I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
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Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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