Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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