Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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