You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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