i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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