Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize