At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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