Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize