I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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