I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
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You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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