I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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