We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
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The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
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Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize