My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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