Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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