every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
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That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
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....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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