I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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