Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The uberlube is also flammable
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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