Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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