he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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