when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize