I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Alive.
So much puke
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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