i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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