no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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