worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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