Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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