FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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