your parents love me but you hate me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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