Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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