Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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