Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
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She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
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Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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