i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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